I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
