I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize