I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
