why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize