How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
