I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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