im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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