Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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