Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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