You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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