hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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