she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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