I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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