Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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