new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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