The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
