he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Found your dick twin last night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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