Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
