I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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