pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
