So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
