How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
