Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
