VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
