I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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