Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
