i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
