my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
