Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize