Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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