She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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