Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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