i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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