Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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