Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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