K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
