and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
