My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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