Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
