i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
