you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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