So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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