the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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