I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
