why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
