Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
