Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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