i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
