i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
