Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Randomize
