dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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