went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize