Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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