Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
