Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can I color on your dick again?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
