he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
