We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
