I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize